Valentine’s Delight (& Chronic Pain)

Although you perhaps don’t know this yet, I am officially the luckiest girl in the world – mostly because I am exceptionally loved by the two people I absolutely love and adore (and except on bad days they get on rather well).

This is rather exemplifed for me by Valentine’s day. Once upon a time it was all about a popularity contest, and I took to writing my friends to tell them I appreciated them and loved them for who they were even if there was no romantic/sexual feeling involved and then for several years I avoided to commercialism of the heterosexual couples world, and now I have come to a point of appreciating negotiation and balance.

My two lovers are very good friends, but they are not intimate with each other. For practical and emotional reasons we adopted a schedule about a year ago where I spend designated alone time with each of them and then we spend some time as a trio and I get to spend some time alone. Very effective and well worth the effort involved – but it all goes somewhat pear-shaped when significant dates come around (lets not even go into my birthday arrangements), and valentine’s is one of those special balancing acts for all involved. This year my beloved wife arranged a romantic home made dinner for the three of us tonight with a day out for the two of us planned during the day tomorrow, drinks for the three of us post work and then B and I together for the evening. Time will tell but already I am impressed by our collective effort and joy – did I mention I am exceptionally lucky?



A friend of mine writes a blog about her struggle with M.E. and/or fibromyalgia and recently posted a comment about some other blogs that she has been reading. They made me want to cry; both in unutterable sympathy and also recognition.

I do not have either of the above conditions. I suffer from ‘chronic’  pain(I think the NHS definition requires 6months +, I have been on medication for it for nearly 18 months) because I have ‘loose’ joints that mean I need to exercise more efficiently to support them and I suffer from fatigue because it affects my sleep quality and because I have ‘major recurrent depressive disorder’ (several ‘episodes’ for 10+ yrs, with anxiety etc); but they key point is that I hurt and feel sorry for myself and sometimes I would like to thank people for reminding me that actually it ain’t so bad.

Thanks all



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