Happy Birthday

Weekend negotiated.

It was good, B & I don’t tend to get much couple time so just staying together, waking up together and having dinner together was really great. We lazed around and chatted with no pressure about work or being anywhere. In truth it was as much as I could give him as a present, so I hope he enjoyed it as much as I did. I missed W terribly of course and there is always something odd about not waking up beside her but it was only a short break so I didn’t get too wound up. I think it helped knowing she was doing something nice for the smother and that we had already planned the evening of her return so there was no need to over-compensate for absence. (I am a terrible over-compensator if I feel one or other of my lovers has been short-changed and this can lead to a vicious circle..)

When she got back she finished making a most excellently delicious birthday cake for B which we shared with his family. It was ginger with cranachan and expertly done  – I hope she was proud of it. Then a lovely nap so we could be close and then out for drinks and dinner for the 3 of us. It makes me terribly smug to play happy families like that but I think B had a good birthday and W really got to bring out her nurturing side.

 

Since then I have been both good and bad.. went to dr. and library but not to mindfulness :-s

Dr. wants me to cut the citalopram out entirely and see how that goes. I feel bad about missing mindfulness, but it does give me an opportunity to try to really do the homework this week..

As for the library – I finally worked up the nerve to go! I feel really out-of-place there. Partly this is because its not my university any more and I worry I will get kicked out, also despite years at uni I still feel like an academic fraud who will get found out for not being smart enough any day plus there are just plain lots of people there. ——-But I went and I found books and I took notes and photocopied some stuff and now I just need to convert that into useful stuff.

Quiet Day tomorrow.

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