More Sleep & Dreaming

Sooo, been taking the new pills a week now – how is it going?

SLEEP. damn it is so fucking good. I like sleeping at the best *and* worst of times but this is something else. I was told that the mirtazapine can cause drowsiness and some people find the sedation way too much and quit because it interferes with their life too much. I have to say I understand, I am sleepy for 12 hrs after taking my pill and I know how that could interfere with people’s lives. Its Fucking Fantastic.

I have suffered with fatigue, tiredness and weariness for years now. Sometimes I have horrific insomnia and spend hours trying to get to sleep and sometimes I feel that I do nothing but sleep and always there is that nagging tiredness filling my bones and muscles and creeping through my thoughts so that they slow down to treacle. The trouble often lies in the fact that I sleep very lightly and even when I lie in bed for 12 or 14 hrs solid most of it I doze conscious of my surroundings and even as when I reach a deeper sleep I wake every 1 or 2 hours through the night, just 10 mins every hour leads to restless night.

The new drug.. I sleep. I mean I sleep 8 hrs before waking up and its amazing. I will take needing to go to bed within half an hour of taking the pill and waking up feeling stoned for the extra energy I get just from having that sleep. Awesome

But, (you knew there would be a downside didn’t you?) the dreams are harsh. For many years now I have been a lucid dreamer – that is I have the privilege of knowing as I progress through each dream that I am dreaming and 75% of the time can influence the dream in some way (I might add that 98% of the time it doesn’t quite work how I expect it to). I also dream in technicolour and often from multiple viewpoints. None of these things have stopped with the mirtazapine but the dreams are more often than not nightmares. It seems the subconscious that hasn’t developed because of my uber-short sleep cycle has some serious crap to throw at me. Night after night I have dreamt of rivers of blood and oceans of tears. Hurting myself in dreams I can almost deal with but crying in my sleep leaves me shaken every morning.

I hope that soon this will pass. … I don’t want to be afraid to get the rest that helps me to deal with daily life.



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