Unreasonable Guilt

Ever found that nagging feeling where you feel responsible for things that you have no control over? It happens to me all the time.

At the moment its a worry that I should have done more to take care of a friend having a relapse in his mental health problems.

Today we had him sectioned.

There are no words for how awful it feels to hand someone over when you know they are terrified and don’t want to be there – nothing like the feeling you have let them down and betrayed their trust. I know in my heart of hearts its where he needs to be right now and that we as friends just couldn’t do enough to look after him. Taking him to the hospital and going through the process (which incidentally took 6.5hrs & involved talking to 8 different people) was the right thing to do but its fucking hard.

Add to which a) It would have been a dearly missed friend’s 40th b’day today b) I bloody hate hospitals and psych wards trebly so – makes for a somewhat miserable and nervous Byghan.

Drugs and bed then – more coherent thoughts soon…

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