Sunshine

Its March in the UK and the sun has been shining so enthusiastically I have colour on my cheeks and..decolletage.

I have mixed feelings about this burning ball of gas making such an unfiltered appearance. In general, though I like to see some brightness, it makes me homesick for the sea. On the other hand there is a delight in seeing the mood of others lift with the light (especially while it is still not too hot).
The fact that I spent the day in the company of a member of my extended family made it quite hard for me because despite the heat I was too uncomfortable with my scars and body shape to wear less clothing. I want the good weather to get me outside exercising, perking my vitamin D and otherwise improving my life but I am still ashamed of how I look and why and that makes it difficult. – Just as well I’ve got a garden to muck around in these days! [on that note have I mentioned we have baby chilli plants and little tomato seedlings whoop!] Why does improving self-confidence require faking it so much of the time?

In other news: dry weather is good for pub painting – so the refurb and name change are tootling on as best they can, but its bad for my thesis and conference paper writing productivity..
Next few weeks are going to be special.

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