As the deadline for my thesis looms ever closer and the possibility of me ever finishing chapter one seems ever further away I find my concentration slipping.
This week has been especially hard. It has been hot, sticky and airless in my house – I’d rather be asleep somewhere cool and dark but what is really getting to me is the pain.
I know that my joints are objecting to the weather; I know that my shoulder is complaining in part because I haven’t been working at the desk and in part because sleeping has been difficult but I can’t do anything about it. The Painkillers aren’t touching it and no amount of mindful breathing is enough to seems to be sufficient to allow me to write.
Mostly though I have developed a loathing for the whole damn chapter and I can’t see a way to get to the end of it. It seems like not only is there a never-ending amount of information to process but that I can’t make my thoughts ordered and I can’t explain what I am trying to do any more. It just seems so fatuous and both vague and ridiculously detailed simultaneously.
Does everyone feel this way about the lit. review and methodology at this point?
On the plus side, post my annual review it looks like I may get the go ahead to move to “continuation status” which means they expect my submission within a year and I can pay less in the way of fees.