Feeling very full of PMT and self-pity which has led to crying jags and a rather hefty dose of the blues.
This means tears at the news reports, tears with music and unreasonable over-reactions to everything (all of which would be less tricky if I wasn’t busy hiding this from parents and other family members).
However, it has led to one particular rather critical realisation/heartbreak. I won’t be moving home any time soon. Despite my father’s promise that my childhood home would become mine he is increasingly reluctant to leave it and I have to face the idea that instead of it being my ‘family’ home and a viable small-holding I won’t get it til we are older/retiring.
Right now I am utterly miserable about this and probably over-reacting and/or misrepresenting the situation but still this is a big deal for me.
I need to re-plan my life and think about what is possible for all of us, stop day-dreaming and just get on the treadmill.