Did I ever tell you that my honeymoon was to an agricultural show?
Yup, thats right I took my wife to a field full of pigs and sheep and tractors. It was glorious. (well except that she was up to her eyeballs in work…)And its a tradition I would love to make more solid.
There is something magical about creating and maintaining traditions as a couple, as a family. Traditions create a bond something shared and recognisable. It creates a connection to past and future – the ability to look back and compare and look forward with anticipation. It gives you rules to break. They can be especially important to ground you when life is hard or unsettled and to help recall things when seizures or time rob people of their memories.
For many families it is the rules of christmas or birthdays that are sacrosanct – my siblings and I, for example, are very attached to stockings and a fry-up, and a break in the middle of dinner for Dr Who; W’s family like to open one present each on christmas eve – but circumstances have not yet allowed us to create those kinds of rituals. Despite being with W for more than 10 years we have only spent 2 christmases together and one of those was with her parents. I have never spent a christmas with B who has worked every one we have been together – I guess I don’t expect to do that any time soon. I do perhaps hope my little family will find something unique.
I think that knowing christmas is a little out of my current league has pushed me to identify things we already do without noticing – to make a fuss about the good and to take an opportunity to revel in the connections. And this weekend has been perfect for that. So Thankyou Manx Loughtan and Thankyou Ninemaidens mead, Thankyou W and Thankyou B. Someday we will all go together and laugh and create a new ritual but everytime I will bring English sparkling wine and W & I will buy too much cheese and do something that is just for us.